why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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