Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize