Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
