I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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