I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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