he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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