I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
