Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
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Yeah, but no one gets all bent outta shape when you leave the puppy in a small cage and go out for a few hours...
Instead of meeting me at the pet store, meet me at the top of the stairs.
Make it two flights just to be safe...
I have wanted a puppy forever and ever since my dog died when I was 8. Bitch, a baby is not an acceptable substitute.
I bet I can chug this everclear faster than you. Every day for the next couple of weeks.
Isn't this how Calvin was born?
Great Calvin and Hobbes reference!
Frankly, at this point, I would not trust you with a puppy.
Messed up ha
Ill get the coat hanger and cigarettes.
Congrats on the pregnancy! Btw, I'm gonna need a paternity test before you get a penny outta me.
Hell yea, bitch isn't getting any money until I get that paternity test saying the little bastard is mine!
This text managed to turn something beautiful to something that sounds like it was an awful surprise to the recipient lol
And cluelesspy, you sir won the Internet July 27, 2012 lol