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  • Instead of meeting me at the pet store, meet me at the top of the stairs.

    Submitted by Problywasme on Jul 27, 12 at 9:29am
    • Make it two flights just to be safe...

      Submitted by ck24 on Jul 27, 12 at 3:19pm
  • Yeah, but no one gets all bent outta shape when you leave the puppy in a small cage and go out for a few hours...

    Submitted by cluelesspy on Jul 27, 12 at 10:20am
  • I have wanted a puppy forever and ever since my dog died when I was 8. Bitch, a baby is not an acceptable substitute.

    Submitted by nitro420 on Jul 27, 12 at 6:35pm
  • I bet I can chug this everclear faster than you. Every day for the next couple of weeks.

    Submitted by EatmeTwice on Jul 27, 12 at 10:06am
  • Messed up ha

    Submitted by thisisfromjosh on Jul 28, 12 at 12:59am
  • Frankly, at this point, I would not trust you with a puppy.

    Submitted by rimmion on Jul 27, 12 at 9:48pm
  • Isn't this how Calvin was born?

    Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jul 27, 12 at 12:06pm
  • Congrats on the pregnancy! Btw, I'm gonna need a paternity test before you get a penny outta me.

    Submitted by daisydukeluke on Jul 27, 12 at 3:58pm
    • Hell yea, bitch isn't getting any money until I get that paternity test saying the little bastard is mine!

      Submitted by ck24 on Jul 27, 12 at 9:39pm
  • Ill get the coat hanger and cigarettes.

    Submitted by dmoney1234 on Jul 27, 12 at 9:52am
  • This text managed to turn something beautiful to something that sounds like it was an awful surprise to the recipient lol

    Submitted by itsjustme16 on Apr 27, 14 at 4:31am
  • And cluelesspy, you sir won the Internet July 27, 2012 lol

    Submitted by itsjustme16 on Apr 27, 14 at 4:33am