bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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