dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am naked and annoyed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
