Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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