No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
