is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
