Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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