Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
