Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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