Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
