none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
