ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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