Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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