ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
