He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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