yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
