Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex