obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.