woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
