This girl is more easily done than said...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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