i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize