just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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