I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
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You apparently have enough money for a phone. Stop texting and buy TP
You can buy toilet paper at the dollar store for $1! Scrape the change out of your couch or round up some beer cans and boom, you have a dollar for tp.
Next time steal something more valuable than napkins.
Steal toilet paper then