dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
