Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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