Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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