Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Someone signed my nipple.
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