I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
