it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
