I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
