Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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