it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
