If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
