You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
