i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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