would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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