remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
