well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
