How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
