GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
