We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
