Say something about gay babies.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
