and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
