I just gift wrapped bread.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
