I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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