Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
