i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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