Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize