i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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