Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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