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  • Submitted by ThordanPano on Oct 19, 10 at 3:43pm

    From Alabama, and he hasn't hooked up with his cousin?

  • Submitted by somethingorother on Oct 20, 10 at 10:02am

    Damn, how come just because a person waits to have sex everyone thinks they're fat or in some other way undesirable? Not everyone who's a virgin is so because nobody will have sex with them... some people are virgins by choice, believe it or not.

  • Submitted by Keefcurl on Oct 19, 10 at 5:01pm

    Have you tried the one handed headstand?

    • Submitted by WhatTheDuece on Oct 22, 10 at 12:35am

      I Have...My Personal Favorite Actually

  • Submitted by tazpurvis on Oct 20, 10 at 6:13am

    I lost my virginity the weekend of my 23rd bday...... Now I am 33 and glad it happened then lol

  • Submitted by roast1021 on Oct 20, 10 at 2:37pm

    I'll do you. I'm a good samaritan.

  • Submitted by reply_ on Oct 19, 10 at 7:07pm

    like with a vacuum cleaner nozzle?

  • Submitted by jimmyboy on Oct 19, 10 at 3:46pm

    Damn. Get some already!

  • Submitted by MAATT_DAAAMON on Oct 20, 10 at 12:49pm

    Ceiling cat is watching you.

  • Submitted by said8ED on Oct 20, 10 at 12:02pm

    I've imagined masturbating in ways that I can't.

  • Submitted by NBree on Oct 21, 10 at 1:14am

    Everytime you kill a kitten, God masturbates. Wait.. what?

  • Submitted by rico1931 on Oct 19, 10 at 4:16pm

    dude don't discriminate fat chicks need loving too!

  • Submitted by Smartastic on Oct 19, 10 at 4:14pm

    I still fuck pillows...body pillows.

  • Submitted by cfreymarc on Oct 19, 10 at 7:43pm

    Head to Nevada with a thousand in cash. It will bs good for you.

  • 97 97
    Submitted by stevebauer on Oct 20, 10 at 10:34am

    Two-handed Moss-Covered Family Credenza

  • Submitted by DiabloCam on Oct 30, 10 at 3:49am

    I'm a 19 year old virgin. What's there to brag about except your the cleanest person anyone can make love to?

  • Submitted by GUESS_WHAT on Oct 19, 10 at 7:53pm

    I'm so sorry...

  • Submitted by atrain044 on Oct 20, 10 at 2:37am

    The cock is a terriable thing to waste.

  • Submitted by blackmetalcore on Oct 19, 10 at 9:48pm

    I'm a 20 year old virgin =(

  • Submitted by bama1 on Feb 24, 11 at 1:12pm

    Taylor Montgomery? What?

  • Submitted by ojg15 on Oct 20, 10 at 9:36am

    Time to 'try your hand' at writing an autobiographical film-script starring Steve Carell..

  • Submitted by typica1cat on Oct 20, 10 at 10:24am

    Non-dominant hand = Hey, stranger!

  • Submitted by TheNewRule on Oct 19, 10 at 11:07pm

    Rule 89: if you don't use it, you lose it. Scientifical fact peoples!!!

  • Submitted by jarodo on Oct 22, 10 at 4:43am

    @Ibdl Actually unless that item breaks her hymen then technically she is still a virgin

  • Submitted by mlock08 on Oct 20, 10 at 6:32pm

    Every time you masturbate God kills a kitten... Think about that next time you have a hot date with Pamela Handerson.

  • Submitted by Hierro on Oct 19, 10 at 4:01pm

    One state too far east. Try Mississippi.

  • Submitted by Phys on Oct 19, 10 at 7:05pm

    Maybe some of that time could have been spent at the gym and this wouldn't be a problem

  • Submitted by letsgetbombed on Oct 20, 10 at 3:51am

    @hales: Judging from your grammer you "are incest".

  • Submitted by hales on Oct 19, 10 at 10:42pm

    just because someone is from alabama doesn't mean they're incest.

    • Submitted by jimmyboy on Oct 20, 10 at 11:18am

      doesn't mean they aren't

  • Submitted by zozo on Nov 13, 10 at 11:35pm


  • Submitted by ckdani on Oct 20, 10 at 1:37am

    my sister is almost 26 and is still a virgin hahah

  • Submitted by gibbsey on Oct 19, 10 at 8:53pm

    Thts fucking funny

  • Submitted by superbamaglf on Oct 21, 10 at 3:21am

    205 in the house!!!

  • Submitted by bangleyxl on Oct 19, 10 at 10:46pm

    Lmfao that's terrible

  • Submitted by veryhiggggghhhh on Oct 20, 10 at 1:00am

    One word: prostitute:)

  • 48 75
    Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Jul 13, 12 at 8:36pm

    Why does this sound like he's saying it during a standoff with a supervillain?

  • Submitted by ThatMeezyGuy on Nov 15, 10 at 5:37am

    @somethingorother- That sure sounds like sumthin a fat ugly virgin would say. You're busted, tubby!

  • Submitted by janesaddiction on Oct 19, 10 at 6:05pm

    Could be a fat girl.

  • Submitted by BondDaddy on Oct 20, 10 at 9:49am

    Ever heard of GHB? Might be your answer

    • Submitted by traveller1988 on Oct 21, 10 at 12:33am

      speaking as a girl that has been drugged....this isn't funny. try sitting in a hospital for day not knowing if anything happened during the 6 hours you don't remember.

      • Submitted by vodkasian on Oct 22, 10 at 4:24pm

        same here. It's horrifying.

  • Submitted by Ibdl on Oct 20, 10 at 2:29pm

    Not!!! If a woman puts something in there she isn't a virgin...the object took it. Sex with objects is still sex, same sensations and results...

    • Submitted by iowawashington on Oct 20, 10 at 2:55pm

      If your sex with objects is the same as your sex with people, you've picked the wrong partners.

    • Submitted by vodkasian on Oct 22, 10 at 4:27pm

      you are retarded.