good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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