im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.