So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.