Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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